God's Family #2

What was God's intention when he created the roles of parents and children? Eph. 6:1 commands children to obey their parents, but does that give the parents the role of dictator in the family? On the contrary. The very next verse commands fathers not to provoke their children to wrath, but to feed or nourish them with Godly instruction and discipline. So many people seem to think that they have no say at all in what their children become, that their role is to just let the children express themselves and find their own way. Obedience has no place in their home. So many others think that teaching their children means laying down the law about everything without explanation, and that obedient children are those who never question the parents' dictates. These two approaches also exist in the church family. I have been in congregations where the elders did not follow the instructions given them in I Timothy and Titus to teach and watch over the brethren and so allowed false doctrine and worldliness into the spiritual family. I have also been in congregations where the elders were more concerned with maintaining their authority and furthering their own agendas than in feeding the flock, and as a result watched their spiritual family either flee in disgust and rebellion or retreat into unproductive lethargy. I do not believe that either approach is what God had in mind. Certainly there are occasions for simple exertion of authority, such as when a child continues in rebellion against the parent or a member against the elders in spite of understanding instruction. There is also occasion for allowing a person to learn from their own experiences, good or bad.  However, two passages come to mind in describing what God had in mind when He created the role of parent. Deut. 4:9 instructs the Israelites to teach their children the commandments of God. The word for teach comes from a word which means "to know, to find out and discern, to know by experience, to consider, to be wise." (Brown, Driver, Briggs) This is much more than drilling through a succession of facts and requires much more from the student than blind acceptance. God wanted us to teach our children to think, to question, to search, to be able to distinguish between truth and falsehood regardless of the source. People, whether children or adults, who are consistently told authoritatively to accept without question quickly learn to leave the thinking to others and exist in a mental vegetative state. Thus, in spite of factual knowledge otherwise, when confronted with a similarly authoritative statement contradicting what they have already been taught, they find they cannot defend their "knowledge" and end up accepting the new statement without question, regardless of its truth. I Tim. 3:4 commands that an elder rule his house well. The word "rule" in this verse, in addition to the literal meaning, also means "to be a protector or guardian, to give aid, to care for, give attention to." A parent who follows this instruction correctly is going to be more concerned with the growth and the needs of the child, and his or her behavior toward the child will reflect that concern. Commandments will be given, but so will instruction, guidance, patience, and experience. Elders who apply this same thinking to their role in the church will provide the same for the members in their charge. Obedience to such rule is much more willingly given because it is earned by the demonstration of love for God and for others, rather than demanded.

God's Family

I have been thinking a lot about family lately, both physical and spiritual, and observing what passes for both in most cases today. I thought I would share what has been going through my mind, as there are several things about this subject that are weighing on my mind. It seems that the world in general, including much of the church, has forgotten the definitions of some very important terms. I don't mean the dictionary definition, although in many cases that also has been changed; I mean the way God defined the roles and institutions described by these words. The word "family" itself has become so twisted and abused that I think we desperately need to return to the scripture to determine what God had in mind for that institution.
All of us in the church know that in the beginning God created one man and one woman, and that this first couple had children, and that they as a group were the first family. We teach this basic concept even in our nursery classes. However, if these basic facts were all that was necessary to create family, why is it that so many families falling into disfunction and disrepair, even in the church? If the word family merely describes a unit group of parents and children, or even expands to include grandparents and extended relatives, why is it that God described the church as a family? What is the connection? Thinking of the church as a family, why do Christian brothers and sisters care so little for the state of the church family? Why are so many of our children "dying out" of the church? I think if we spent some time breaking down God's plan for family and searching out his definitions of some key words related to family, we might find a terrifying answer.
For the next few weeks, as I have opportunity, I plan to do a series of posts in search of the Biblical concept of family and all that goes with it. I will look at words like "parent," "child," "brother/sister," "husband/wife," "love," "communicate," "edify," etc. Stay tuned, and please contribute thoughts from you own study for my benefit.